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The Tragic Story of a Liberal Muslim Scholar: A Heartbreaking End

What!? You’re pregnant?!” The old man stared in disbelieve as he heard his youngest beloved daughter confessing to him. Immediately he stood up and rushed towards her, his hand raised up high, ready to slap her face when…

“Don’t! Have mercy on her!” screamed his wife while holding their daughter tight. This made him stop, but from the way his body shook, his eyes opened wide, looking sharply to the girl, it’s obvious that he’s in rage and very disappointed.

 “Who!? Who would dare do such thing, hah?!” He snapped.

The girl didn’t spoke a word. She just cried and hid her face in her mom’s embrace.

 “Dear God! Why must this happen to my family? I’m a well known Muslim scholar in this country, yet I raised a whore!” The old man complained and grumbled as if he wanted to get all of his anger and disappointment out of his nerve system. In the mean time, while still embracing her child, his wife tried to calm him down.

 “Istighfar, Pa! Who’s a whore? Our daughter is only a victim…”

“What victim? She did it on purpose!” The old men cut her sentence, feeling angrier than before, hearing his wife trying to defend the child.

The room became quite. His wife bowed her head, speechless. After a while, the old man dragged a chair next to his wife and child who were still hugging each other and flung his body on it.

“What, Pa? Whipping her? Didn’t you say that whipping is a primitive law, inappropriate to be held anymore? You also wrote in many books and media that hudud is no longer relevant and out of date?!” His wife found the courage to speak.

“O, Child! Why did you do it?” His voice tone has decreased. He bowed his head, covered his face with both of his wrinkled hands as if this could cover the shame his facing when the news hit infotainment media. “Daughter of a Famous Muslim Scholar: Pregnant Out of Wedlock with a Christian.”

“You know what? You should be whipped a thousand times!” He suddenly spoke firmly. His wife who kept silent automatically turned her head toward him, frowning.

 “What, Pa? Whipping her? Didn’t you say that whipping is a primitive law, inappropriate to be held anymore? You also wrote in many books and media that hudud is no longer relevant and out of date?!” His wife found the courage to speak.

Hearing her comment, the scholar sunk deeper in his chair, not knowing what to do.

*****

After this incident, the seventy-year-old-something man lay weak in an emergency room of the capital city’s hospital. He fell into a heavy depression. His conscience experienced a great inner conflict. He realized that all this time he was at the frontline, encouraging people to acknowledge interfaith marriages, shouting slogans of anti Islam sharia implementation, opposing the use of veil and declaring veil as an Arab tradition, not an Islam teaching. “It’s Arabian culture, not Islam culture!” he stated firmly every time he gave lectures to his students.

But now his conscience revolts, when he saw both of his daughters expose their bodies, scantily clad, and no longer have the same faith as he is. He wanted to ask them to stay in Islam, do Islam sharia, have an Islamic household, and cover their bodies as the Quran teaches, but it’s too late. Both of his daughters are now the ones who faithfully preserve his secular liberal ideology. 

With MTV fashioned dress style, his daughter fell into adultery with a non Muslim man. His conscience demanded him to punish her according to Islam sharia because he’s well aware that by doing so he can prevent his daughter from a greater punishment hereafter. 

“Child, what ever you do, you’re a Muslimah. If you committed adultery, you must repent and be punished by Islam law.” Again he told this to his daughter because he wanted to keep trying to convince his daughter to take the necessary punishment.  

During another visit of his daughter, when he was still trying to convince her, unexpectedly she replied, “If that’s so in Islam, I rather convert into Christianity!”

 “What?!” Like struck by lightning the old man stood up. His eyes opened wide as if they wanted to pop out. “Are you out of your mind? If you turn into Christianity, that means you’re apostate! You’re an infidel and…” He could no longer continue his words because his rage soared. With high tone he snapped at his daughter who instantly shut her mouth, shuddered by fear.

 “Have I heard wrong, Dad?” Suddenly his oldest daughter who happened to visit him spoke, defending her sister. “What are you talking about? Apostate, infidel… That’s Diana’s right to become Christian because she no longer feels engaged with Islam. Religion is a private area that no one else may interfere. Converting into Christianity is Diana’s private area. You have no right to interfere!”

“Now you’re speaking like this. Then why did you write all of those books and articles saying that every religion contains the same truth? Why did you speak out loud that every religion believer will go into heaven? That was all a lie, wasn’t it, Dad? You just deceived people through your writing and words?” Lena strafed her sick father with critical questions. 

“Watch your mouth, Len!” The old man snapped at her. “To tell you the truth, Lena, I’ve never really blessed your marriage with that infidel. It’s forbidden for Muslimah to marry an infidel!”

 “Now you’re speaking like this. Then why did you write all of those books and articles saying that every religion contains the same truth? Why did you speak out loud that every religion believer will go into heaven? That was all a lie, wasn’t it, Dad? You just deceived people through your writing and words?” Lena strafed her sick father with critical questions. 

 “Shut up!!!” He became furious, listening to his oldest daughter.

 “Why should I shut up? I’m just repeating what you have taught me!” Lena shouted back, not willing to be outdone. “For your information I’m now following Yudha’s religion. I’ve converted into Buddhist!”

 “What?! How dare you apostate, Lena. You’re an infidel now, you’re going to hell. You’re blood is now legal to be shed…I will kill…aaakhhh!”

 “Pa…Pa…Istighfar, Pa! Istighfaaar!!!” His wife tried to calm him down. The man kept moving wildly while shouting furiously. “Nurse…Help me, Nurse!” She screamed hysterically. Soon a few male nurses held his arms and legs until he became calm again.

 “Ahh.. hhh..hhh!” He grasped for breath.

 “Take it easy, Sir, istighfar…” said one of the nurses.

The old man gradually recovered. Slowly he opened his eyes, looking around. His eyes caught the image of his wife. Her face seemed worried. And as he further observed the room, he could no longer find his daughters. 

 “Ma.. Will.. D..Di..ana convert…in..to…Christianity?” His lips trembled, with weak voice he tried to ask his wife. After a long pause, confused on how to answer him, his wife nodded her head without saying a word.

“Fhhhhh…” He strongly exhaled as if he wanted to release all burdens in his chest. His head lay weak, his eyes stared blank. Slowly he began to close his eyes and suddenly, he remembered one of the Prophet’s hadith that he used to know so well during childhood. “When an Adam child dies, all of his deeds will stop, except for three matters: Useful knowledge, shadaqah jariah, and godly children who will always pray…”

His eyes became wide open. “Godly child…” He hissed. “I don’t have a godly child. Both of my daughters are infidels!! Aaaah, who will pray for me later? Hiks…hiks…” He sobbed. His body shook hard, holding his tears in regret.

***

The scholar looked down to the fresh mound where his wife now rest in peace. Unexpectedly, his healthy wife preceded him in meeting the Mighty Lord, while he – who has not yet found a way to overcome his heavy depression – remains alive, though sick as ever. Now only he, the liberal Muslim scholar, with his two daughters are left behind.

Suddenly he jerked, remembering both of his daughters who are now having different religions, meaning that he’s the only remaining Muslim in his family.

When he was getting up, his eyes accidentally saw a headstone with cross symbol not far from his wife’s grave. “O, Allah, when I die, will my name be put on a headstone like the one in that cross graveyard?”

[nadiah/azz@hra]